5 Training Traps You Need to Avoid
5 Training Traps You Need to Avoid:
1) Building Small Traps:
The Trap Is Not Attractive To Women
2) Building Big Traps:
The Trap Is Too Strong For Her Body Type
3) Building No Triggers At All:
She Will Never Get Aroused By Them
4) Build Large Triggers And They Are Attracting Her
5) Build Small Triggers And They Are Unattractive To Her
In this article we will discuss about 5 traps that women need to avoid when it comes to training. These are the most common traps that men fall into, but they are all traps for women too. The reason why these traps exist is because there is a misconception that if you build them up, then she will like you and want to have a relationship with you. That’s not true at all!
Women don’t care about your body type or how strong you are. They only care about whether you’re going to be able to provide for her and make her happy. If you think that you have built up traps and they aren’t attractive to women, then I’m sorry, but I can tell you from experience that those things are NOT attractive to women. Those things are unattractive and they cause many problems in relationships.
The REAL traps that women find attractive are the “emotional traps”. If you can make her feel a certain way, if you can build up her emotions, then she will be attracted to you. Most women don’t even realize it when they fall into these traps, but they are VERY real and they DO exist. The reason why these traps don’t work for men is because men typically don’t have the same emotional responses that women do. If you’re a woman reading this then you know exactly what I’m talking about, but if you’re a man then you probably think I’m crazy.
That’s fine though, because this information is supposed to help women much more than men, so just pay attention and I’ll explain everything below.
Trap 1: Building Small Triggers
This is the trap that most women fall into. They think that if they do something nice for a guy then he will like them, when in reality it is the total opposite. If you have ever dated a guy who was really insecure, chances are he was a “mama’s boy” or maybe he just didn’t have a lot of female friends previously. These guys tend to only be interested in you if you are doing something for them or saying something nice to them. They don’t want a girlfriend, they want a slave.
Honestly, a lot of these guys end up being Drama Kings and Queens and create unnecessary drama in relationships because they are too insecure to believe that someone could like them for who they are.
The thing is, not all “mama’s boys” or guys with a lot of female friends growing up are like that. Some of them grow out of it and become fine, well adjusted men. When you’re talking to a guy and he seems really interested in everything that you have to say, and he’s actually listening to you instead of just waiting for his turn to speak, then he’s a keeper. Guys who willingly listen to you and value your opinions on things tend to be the ones that really like you and want a relationship with you. Those types of guys are out there.
It’s just that you’re going to have to sort through a lot of the “mama’s boys” to find them.
Trap 2: Disrespecting Your Boundaries
This is a big one. If a guy disrespects your boundaries, then you need to get away from him as quickly as possible because it will only get worse. You can tolerate a little bit of boundary crossing; we all do it occasionally. We’re all human, but if a guy is doing it on a frequent basis then he has some serious issues.
There are three different types of boundary crossings. The first and most innocent one is when a guy does something that you told him you don’t like, but he doesn’t understand why you don’t like it. This isn’t really a “trap” so much as it is the guy simply being insensitive or oblivious. Guys like this can be trained not to do the things you don’t like, but it’s going to take some time and you’re going to need to talk to him about it when he does it.
The next level is when a guy starts doing things that you told him not to do, but he has a good reason for doing them. This is more serious than the first level, but it’s not a deal breaker. If a guy really likes you then he should be willing to compromise and accept that you have some control over what happens. A good example of this is if you tell him not to call you during work hours because it distracts you and your boss doesn’t like it, but he calls you once during lunch time to say hi. He’s violated your rules, but he had a good reason.
The third and final level is when a guy blatantly ignores your requests and does whatever he wants regardless of the consequences. If he’s got some serious issues like Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder then he’s going to do this type of boundary crossing. There are varying levels of severity among these types, but they’re all going to be dangerous to some degree.
The tricky thing with dealing with boundary crossings is that sometimes guys cross them without even realizing it. They do it so naturally to themselves that they don’t feel as though they’re doing anything wrong by you. It’s your job to make sure that you explain to him, in a calm and reasonable manner, that he has to stop doing it. Listen to his reasons and then decide if they’re sufficient or not.
You can’t stop a guy from doing something if his reasons are good enough. If he has a genuine reason for doing something that is hurting you, then it’s going to have to be addressed on a situation by situation basis.
Dealing with the crying:
There are three types of guys who will do this. The first type is the guy who does it excessively and doesn’t know how to control himself. These are the types that will blame you for their own failings in life. They’re also the types that will go on about their own problems while you’re trying to watch a movie or something similar. These types need to be distracted in some way.
You can either talk about what’s bothering them or you can try to distract them in some way with a game or activity.
The second type is the guy who will cry during an argument. These are the types that argue in order to malign you or put you in a position where you have to defend yourself. They want to see you stumble and make mistakes, so that they can point them out and use them as proof that they’re right. The best way to deal with this type is maintain a calm demeanor and don’t let yourself get flustered. If he’s trying to make you angry then simply don’t respond in kind.
The third type is the guy who cries during a moment of passion. This is when you’re having a good time and then all of a sudden he starts to cry for some reason. This is usually the type of guy who has a hard time showing any type of feelings, so he lets them out in an abnormal way. The best way to deal with this type is simply to calm him down and remind him that you’re both okay and everything is still fine.
Most of the time when a guy cries he’s not trying to shame himself or get sympathy from you. He’s really just a very emotional person who needs an outlet for all of his feelings. The important thing is to not let it scare you or make you uncomfortable, because then it will become a habit and he’ll start doing it all the time.
You obviously don’t want this to happen, so just remember that crying is good: It means he can feel.
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Sources & references used in this article:
- Software process improvement: Ten traps to avoid (KE Wiegers – Software Development, 1996 – Citeseer)
- ‘Just Breathe Normally’: Word Choices that Trigger Nocebo Responses in Patients: Six language traps and how to avoid them (WJ Knaus – 2004 – Barnes & Nobles)
- Equity traps: A useful construct for preparing principals to lead schools that are successful with racially diverse students (PW Schenk – AJN The American Journal of Nursing, 2008 – journals.lww.com)
- The ten outsourcing traps to avoid (KB McKenzie, JJ Scheurich – Educational Administration …, 2004 – journals.sagepub.com)
- Inter Cultural Management associates, ICM: ICM management training in Russia, traps and gaps (M Power, C Bonifazi, KC Desouza – Journal of business strategy, 2004 – emerald.com)
- Avoid Five More Malpractice Traps with Practice Management Software (JJ Goveia, HA Soule – Reform Forum, 2003)